Hearing I love you from someone can be beautifulābut also complicated when you donāt feel the same way. Itās a tough spot to be in.
You donāt want to hurt them, but you also donāt want to lie. So youāre left wondering what to say when someone says I love you but you don’t love them back.
This moment can bring up a mix of guilt, awkwardness, and pressure. But the truth is, you can be kind, honest, and clear without being cruel.
This guide will walk you through 10 different ways to handle this situation, with real examples and things you can say to make it a little easierāfor you and them.
Letās explore how to respond with respect, kindness, and courage.
š 1. When You Want to Be Honest but Gentle
Honesty matters, but you donāt want to crush them. Here’s how to tell the truth while showing respect.
Examples of what to say:
- I really value you but I donāt feel the same way
- Iām honored you feel that way but I canāt return it
- Youāre amazing but Iām not in the same place emotionally
- I donāt want to hurt you but I donāt feel that kind of connection
- I appreciate your feelings but I donāt share them
- I respect your honesty and I want to be honest too
- You deserve someone who feels the same way
- Thank you for opening up to me, but I donāt feel the same
- Iām not able to give you what youāre looking for
- Youāre such a kind person but my feelings are different
- I want to be real with you, even if itās hard
- Iām not ready for that kind of relationship
- I care about you as a person, but not romantically
- Itās not easy to say, but I donāt feel that kind of love
- I hope we can still respect each otherās space
Use this when: You know the person deserves honesty and you want to avoid leading them on.
š¬ 2. When You’re Caught Off Guard
Sometimes, it just comes out of nowhere. You need a second to gather your thoughts.
Examples of what to say:
- Wow, I wasnāt expecting that and I need a moment to think
- That means a lot, but I need to be honest with myself too
- I care about you, but Iām not in love with you
- I didnāt see this coming and I need to figure out how I feel
- Thatās a big thing to hear, thank you for trusting me
- Iām surprised, and I want to respond with care
- Thatās a lot to take inācan we talk about it later?
- I donāt feel that way, but I still want to be kind
- I need time to find the right words, I hope thatās okay
- Thank you for sharing that, but I want to be upfront
- You deserve the truth, and Iām not feeling the same
- I need to process this before saying more
- I donāt want to rush into a response, but I want to be honest
- Itās hard to say, but I donāt share those feelings
- I admire your courage, even if I donāt feel the same
Use this when: The confession is unexpected and you need time to think.
ā¤ļø 3. When You Want to Stay Friends
You care about the person but only as a friend. Itās important to draw that line.
Examples of what to say:
- I think youāre a great friend, but I donāt feel romantic love
- I really enjoy our friendship and I hope we can keep that
- Iām not in love, but I care about you as a friend
- I see you as a close friend, not a partner
- I hope we can stay in each otherās lives as friends
- I value our connection, just not in a romantic way
- You mean a lot to me as a friend
- I never saw us that way, but I want to keep the friendship strong
- I want to be honest and say I donāt feel romantic love
- I donāt want to mislead youāI just want friendship
- Our friendship is important to me
- Youāre like family to me, not a romantic partner
- I respect your feelings, but I feel differently
- I donāt want to ruin what we have as friends
- I hope we can move forward as friends
Use this when: You want to keep them in your lifeābut only platonically.
š§ 4. When Youāre Not Ready for a Relationship
You might care, but you’re just not ready to date right now.
Examples of what to say:
- Iām not in a place for a relationship right now
- My focus is on other things and not romance
- I care about you, but Iām not ready for love
- Iām still figuring myself out and I donāt want to lead you on
- Iām working through some personal stuff first
- You deserve someone who can be all in
- Iām not emotionally available right now
- I donāt want to jump into something Iām not ready for
- Youāre amazing, but Iām not ready to commit
- I need time to work on myself first
- Iād rather be honest than force something
- I donāt think I can give you what you need
- Itās not about youāitās about where I am in life
- I donāt want to disappoint you later
- Iām choosing to be single for now
Use this when: You’re just not in the right space for romance, even if you care about them.
š«¤ 5. When Youāre Not Attracted to Them
Physical or emotional attraction isnāt something you can fake.
Examples of what to say:
- I think youāre a great person, but I donāt feel that spark
- I donāt feel a romantic attraction and I want to be honest
- You deserve someone who is excited about you
- I donāt feel the connection in that way
- I respect you too much to pretend
- I care about you, but not romantically
- I think weād be better as friends
- Youāre great, just not my type romantically
- I donāt want to hurt you, but I donāt feel that pull
- Iām not feeling that kind of chemistry
- I admire you, but the spark isnāt there
- Itās not something youāve done, I just donāt feel it
- Youāre lovable, but not the right match for me
- I want to be honest, even if itās hard
- I donāt want to fake something I donāt feel
Use this when: Youāre not romantically drawn to them.
š¤ 6. When You Respect Their Feelings Deeply
You want to be clear but honor how brave they were.
Examples of what to say:
- Thank you for being so brave and open
- I really respect that you shared your heart
- That took courage and I donāt take it lightly
- I care about you, and I want to be honest too
- I admire your honesty and I hope I can match it
- You being real helps me be real too
- I donāt feel the same, but I appreciate your truth
- Your words matter to me, even if I feel differently
- Youāre a beautiful person, truly
- I want to be kind even though this is hard
- Iām listening and I care about what you feel
- This means something, and I donāt want to be careless
- Thank you for trusting me
- I hope we can still treat each other with care
- You deserve someone who says I love you back
Use this when: You care deeply and want to acknowledge their emotions kindly.
š§ 7. When You Want to Cool Things Down Slowly
Sometimes, itās best to ease out of the situation gradually.
Examples of what to say:
- I think weāve grown apart a little
- Iām not feeling the same connection as before
- I want to take a step back for now
- Letās take a little space to think
- Things feel different lately
- Iām not sure I can be the person you need
- I donāt want to rush into something Iām unsure about
- Can we slow down a bit?
- I need some time to think things through
- Iām not ready for where this is going
- I care, but Iām feeling distant lately
- Iād rather be real than fake feelings
- Letās take a break and talk again later
- I think I need to focus on other things now
- I donāt want to lead you on by moving too fast
Use this when: You want to slowly move away or give the other person time to adjust.
š 8. When You Feel Confused Too
Sometimes your own feelings are mixed and unclear.
Examples of what to say:
- Iām honestly not sure how I feel right now
- Thatās a big thing to hear and I need time to reflect
- I donāt want to say the wrong thing
- My feelings are a bit confusing at the moment
- I care, but I need time to understand what I feel
- Iām torn, and I donāt want to give false hope
- Can we talk again after Iāve sorted my thoughts?
- Itās hard to know what to say, but I want to be fair
- I need more time to be sure of anything
- I donāt feel ready to respond right away
- I donāt want to hurt you by being unsure
- I want to be honest that Iām confused
- You deserve clarity, and I need time to find it
- This is unexpected and I want to give a real answer
- Iām still learning what love means to me
Use this when: You donāt fully know how you feel and need space.
š§ 9. When You Want Distance Without Drama
You want space without hurting them more than necessary.
Examples of what to say:
- I think we need some space to figure things out
- I donāt think weāre a good match
- I wish you the best, but I need to move on
- I canāt be in this situation any longer
- Itās not fair to keep this going
- I think we should both focus on ourselves
- I hope you find someone better suited
- I donāt think Iām the right person for you
- This doesnāt feel healthy for me
- I want to step away with respect
- Iām choosing to walk away with peace
- I care, but I need to let go
- I hope you understand I need to move on
- Letās both look forward with kindness
- Iām not going to change my mind, and I want to be fair
Use this when: You want to protect your peace and create emotional distance kindly.
š§” 10. When Youāre Dealing with a Close Friend
Rejecting a close friendās love can feel extra painful.
Examples of what to say:
- I love you as a friend, and I hope thatās enough
- I care deeply about you but not romantically
- You mean a lot to me and I donāt want to hurt you
- I hope this doesnāt ruin our friendship
- I didnāt expect this and I value our connection
- I feel differently, but I donāt want to lose you
- Letās be honest and still keep what matters
- Our friendship is one of the best things in my life
- This doesnāt change how much I respect you
- Iām honored you feel that way, but I canāt return it
- I hope this doesnāt push us apart
- I need space to make sure weāre okay
- I donāt want to be unfair to you
- I want to be gentle because our bond is strong
- I still want to be in your life, even if not romantically
Use this when: You deeply value the friendship but canāt return romantic feelings.
š Final Thoughts:
Facing this situation is toughābut honesty wrapped in kindness always wins.
You donāt have to fake love or feel guilty. Whether youāre surprised, unsure, or just not feeling the same, knowing what to say when someone says I love you but you don’t love them back helps you respond with grace.
The key is clear words, soft tone, and true respect.
